


A Vampire and A Succubus Walk into a Bar

by Nafmas



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Bottom Michael, F/M, I call him a succubus though so I'm sorry, Incubus!Michael, Top Lindsay, Vampire!Lindsay, but here we are, fem top, female top, i did not think the first dirty fic i would make would be f/m, incubus, lindsay being a badass, vampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2014-09-23
Packaged: 2018-02-18 13:51:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2350697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nafmas/pseuds/Nafmas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s hard to find someone these days. That’s actually kind of a lie. The real issue lies with being an incredibly old and decrepit vampire. Being old leaves lack of room for common interests like musical, fashion, and other… tastes.</p><p>So when Lindsay met Michael, to say she was amused wasn't even the beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Vampire and A Succubus Walk into a Bar

**Author's Note:**

> I hate every vampire thing i ever read. I'm just kidding a lot of it is really good there just isn't a lot of it. Also fuck vegan vampires. gah imma write stuff for my own damn amusement. Also i thing one of the best combinations ever could be a succubus and a vampire like holy fuck how great would that be.  
> So here it is.

It’s hard to find someone these days. That’s actually kind of a lie. The real issue lies with being an incredibly old and decrepit vampire. Being old leaves lack of room for common interests like music, fashion, and other... tastes. Now, being a vampire that likes to feed on humans Lindsay felt weird trying to find a mate in one. Mating with humans just seemed like such a terrible idea, which was probably why Lindsay was so against the idea. So that immediately took a lot of potential bachelors out of the dating pool. And though she was old, Lindsay was pretty adept at using the internet, and she liked to compliment herself on the evolution of her style and taste. She managed to morph well into the ages. But some days she missed simpler days. Days when she stepped away from the rush or the ebb and flow of regular life. Lindsay was capable of enjoying what was in front of her when it was in front of her. If that meant the serenity of the woods or the thrumming beats in da club, Lindsay was all about the moment.  
  
And so when Lindsay met Michael, to say she was in the moment was absolutely true.  
  
Michael was talking up some cute little perky thing at the bar when Lindsay had caught wind of him. The first thing to cross her mind was delicious, but after that she took in the sights before her. Michael obviously knew what he was doing, the back and forth. THe art of seduction. Almost as good as Lindsay’s ability to hypnotise people. She knew the moment she caught wind of him that he was a succubus. He seemed to know exactly when to brush the hair out of the perky girl’s face and when to whisper into her ear seductively. And when he realised the perky girl wasn’t really into it he let her go. When she walked off behind Lindsay, he was caught up in the moment too. By the pure coincidence of the whole thing.  
  
A vampire and a succubus walk into a bar. There has to be some kind of punchline. Lindsay thought she’d have to mention it to Barbara. Surely she’s make some kind of pun out of the whole thing.  
  
Lindsay approached him slowly making sure her strides were slow and deliberate but casual and hella sexy. And Michael knew. That this was the beginning of a beautiful night.  
  
When she finally made her way to the bar Michael gave her one of his brightest smiles and brushed a strand of hair from her face,  
  
And Lindsay took the hand and sampled the smell of his wrist like a sommelier might relish the bouquet of a fine wine.  
  
“What’s your poison?” He asked.  
  
“Reds.” She smiled at her well thought out reply. “I like ‘em savory with a hidden sweetness,”  
  
Michael laughed as he ruffled his Auburn hair. “I can’t disagree,” He said as he brushed a strand of Lindsay’s own red hair in between his fingers.  
  
“What are your plans for this evening?” She whispered suggestively into his ear.  
  
“I was going to find something to take my interest and perhaps,” Michael paused and smirked at Lindsay, “Grab a bite,”  
  
“What a coincidence, I was thinking the same thing.”  
  
“Michael,” he slid his hand into hers to shake it.  
  
“Lindsay,” she shook their hands slightly before tugging him in the direction of the exit, “Would you like to grab a bite together?”  
  
“I’d love to,” Michael said as he threw down money to pay for his drinks and they left together.  
  
They called a cab and headed over to the nearest motel. The entire cab ride was spent with small talk about interests and hobbies. It went by quickly.  
  
Once they reached the motel, he flipped on the lights after turning the key and letting Lindsay inside. He closed the door cautiously and turned to Lindsay.  
  
She was on him, kissing at him making his lips immediately red and puffy. Then she nibbled lightly at his lips and split it so it leaked just the tiniest hint of the magic flowing beneath his paper thin skin. She smirked against his lips.  
  
MIchael loved every bit of it. He returned the kiss with just as much fervor. He let her dominate him entirely push him against the wall. “Perhaps,” He began in the breaths between the chaste kisses she was beginning to trail down his neck. “We should move to the bed.”  
  
She smiled against his skin and made an affirmative noise. She continued just around his jugular pausing as if waiting to taste the adrenaline and arousal just beyond his skin.  
  
They shuffled together, her leading him every step of the way to the bed where she almost threw him down and crawled up to his face again.  
  
She began her descent over again. Starting at his lips tasting the new drop that had beaded at his lips and continuing down his body. Kissing down his chin to his lips and down to his collar where she began to strip him of his shirt. she then worked down his chest stopping at one of his nipples to caress the nib with her tongue getting it hard and perking the other one with her fingers. Then, as she kissed his slightly hairy chest, she unbuttoned his pants with practiced ease. Michael attempted to help by trying to pull away the last of the cloth from his body, but she shoved his hands away and began to strip herself.  
  
She pulled off her top agonizingly slow and threw it aside with his. She grabbed Michael’s hands and led them to her belt and he caught on as he eagerly took the button within his fingers and pulled the pants from her body including her underwear. She removed her own bra and he took the time to remove his own boxers as well.  
  
Then they took a few glorious moments just to admire each other. The pale Goddess sat on top of Michael with a lusty hungry look in her eyes as if she would eat him alive, and he knew she could, and probably would if she wished. Lindsay looked at the light muscular skin, the pudgy comfort, but ability to take to control and easily give it up to her as well, his sexy auburn curls looked best, she decided, after a little rough-housing. Then she moved her hips slightly. Michael almost thought she was shifting her weight at first and then he knew after the third grind into him what she was doing. She smiled as she leaned in to kiss him again.  
  
He grabbed her hips and lifted her with ease as he slowly and deliberately placed himself inside of her. And she let out the most delicious moan he’d ever heard. She ground against him and constrained her muscles and released, and then he let out a rough groan of his own. She rotated as she moaned each time she hit the right spot.  
  
She leaned into him again as she whispered almost silently into his ear her request and he nodded with a moan as she tilted his head to the side and bit into his neck and drank the blood oozing with passion and adrenaline.  
  
She began again grinding into him relentlessly as she pulled herself up and slid him back inside. Another thrust and Michael let out a lusty howl of Lindsay’s name. Lindsay couldn’t even get his name out as he thrust again until they both came with deafening wails.  
  
She licked his neck one final time and he inhaled deeply as she pulled off him and they laid next to each other. “Well,” Michael finally said after a couple of heavy pants.  
  
LIndsay only laughed, completely recovered already, the fresh blood still tangy and sweet on her lips. “That was the best sex I’ve had in a while,”  
  
He laughed too turning to look at her bright blue green eyes. he gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead. Lindsay looked at Michael as she caressed his chest silently. He smiled as he fell asleep.  
  
And when Michael woke the next day with nothing but a cryptic handwritten note on his bedside table, and a missing sweatshirt he knew he needed to find her again.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it.  
> This was my first dirty fanfiction that I ever finished and thought might be good enough for people to read so yeah.  
> Think it was shit? Tell me.  
> Loved it? Tell me.  
> Want me to make a sequel and shit? TELL ME!  
> Want to read my stuff before I make an ass out of myself and post it? Please contact me seriously I need a beta.
> 
> Tell me here or at jackyourpattillo.tumblr.com
> 
> Also I'm always up for prompts and shit. <3 you!


End file.
